TRUST THE F*&KING PROCESS - My Story of Transformation

 

I am Amanda, a proud Sober Artist & Creative Guide, Mother to Sunny & Granny Moo to Theo, I live and work in Brighton from my Studio in the Sky. 

 

This is my story of transformation!

Feb 2019, I had no confidence in myself or my creativity. The negative self-talk was running on a contestant loop, it was exhausting. Add the shame and guilt I carried around from drinking, I felt worthless! Lost and with no purpose or direction, another failing relationship on the cards, I was not in a good place.
I did have 30yrs of sketchbooks and a passion for drawing, a deep desire to make it work as an artist. 

  

 

I had been following the artist Ali Mapletoft for a while so when she offered a course, "How to start a Brand" something inside me just knew this was my chance. And I had to take it!

I had no idea what this journey was going to look like, and that was ok, for the 1st time in years I felt something release,  I felt an excitement I had not felt before!

So I just went for it, and within 7months of working on stories and beliefs, my confidence grew, I started doing lives, understanding my why, what & how and I was so proud!

The biggest and scariest realisation was that: alcohol played no part in my life if I wanted to be a creative entrepreneur!

So on the 1st of September  2019, I launched Creatively Curious, and my 1st collection of beautiful notebooks & sketchbooks were out in the world.

 

 

And I quit booze, even though my head was saying, What are you doing? Sober is boring? You will have no fun anymore? What will happen to your creativity? Who do you think you are? Etc etc

Thankfully I ignored them and for the 1st time listening to my intuition, overrode the fear and quit the booze, from that scary discussion everything changed, and my life began!

 

 

I had found my SUPERPOWER!

 

I was planning to quit my part-time job as a cleaner and hang up my rubber gloves on the 25th of May 2020 the eve of my 50th birthday. I  was running workshops and making plans to step into being a full-time creative.

 

Then the pandemic happened, everything changed, the world changed!

Thankful I was in the cocoon of the supportive creative community Ali had created and felt supported and able to connect with likeminded others, accountability is so important 

Like everyone my whole world changed, my lodger moved out, my cleaning business ended and I was suddenly living alone for the 1st time!

I Vowed that I was not going to let a pandemic be an excuse for me to drink again.

I brought out my 2nd Collection of Notebooks & Sketchbooks called "The Sober Collection"  the 1st collection I designed without alcohol! 

Having my creativity allowed me a way to process feelings and emotions, add my love of plants and meditation and I felt I could do this, staying sober was so important to me and I knew I would find as many healthy ways to deal with overwhelming and stress, I signed up for Thrive a 6-week course for creative entrepreneurs and went for it 100%

This changed things so much, one of the big things were setting up our morning routines which I loved! Journalling was my biggest resistance because being dyslexic, I had built up a story that my words were worthless and I never wrote anything down!

Daily Journalling has become the place where I go in the process, reflect the highs and lows, answer questions, and most of all be 100% honest with myself.It wasn't just about email funnels and marketing and newsletters!

 

It was about resilience and I needed to have the tools to manage to be a creative entrepreneur and stay sober!

I now have daily meditation, daily gratitude, daily journaling, self-reflection, quiet time, creativity, cuddles from my grandson & bear hugs from my son, the list goes on

   

And being with a supportive creative community during that time was priceless life-changing and life-affirming.

I am still on this amazing  journey and don't have all the answers and not everything works out and that's ok, what I do have is my resilience 

A few months ago I was having a moment, and they do happen! I was ready to give it all up, I ranted in a group, ranted to my journal to myself, ranted at the sea. I reached out to the right people and was supported. 

I had a word with myself and asked uncomfortable questions asked myself what I wanted and needed to move through this, the answer that came through was to nurture and honour my unique creative energy, I had not realised how unaligned to my creativity I was until I was realigned.

The art produced over the last few months is for me the most pivotal pieces of my career. I have surrendered to my creativity and allowed myself to play and explore, so I could process tough questions, only I could answer, by going within.

 

Recently I sat at my desk in my Studio in the Sky and connected so deeply with my creative energy, the mix of joy and love, where so overwhelming I cried, not sadness, tears of joy I realised at the age of 51 I am creatively free…

 

 

 

Conclusion

So when those shadow archetypes pop-ups, filling your head with self-doubt and overwhelm, and you're ready to throw it all in, you get your tools for resilience and you use them!

Don't get bogged down by  what other people are doing or creating, or how far they have come

Instead, Overcome stories and beliefs that are holding you back, get uncomfortable ( bun-clenchingly) at times and work through them.

 

Then the magic happens! And remember... 

 

Always nurture your own beautiful creative energy, and listen to your intuition.

Create a toolbox of tools that support you to build your resilience! so you can deal with the overwhelm and stresses of life, be it business & personal in a healthy way.

Only you can do the work that will make the changes in your life, you desire.

 

As write this I am 888 days sober, reflecting back, 2021 was the hardest and the most rewarding, at the end of November, I stood on stage in front of 40 women and spoke my truth, this has to be one of the proudest, most scary moments, it was so well received. A few years ago would have seemed impossible and unthinkable!

 

I love the woman I am today and am excited by my future and where I will be in the next 888 days!

With Love 

Amanda Sober Artist & Creative Guide

Do you want to know how you can build your resilience with creativity?

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1 comment

  • Your story is so inspiring and gives me hope and direction, thank you x

    Lynette

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